dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
