I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
