Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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