Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
