Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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