he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize