i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
