You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
