She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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