i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
