Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
