I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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