I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
