Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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