If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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