What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
