I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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