Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
