fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
