tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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