Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
