doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
