you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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