Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
