clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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