she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
