So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
