i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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