I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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