am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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