3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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