I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
