did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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