And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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