dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
