There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
