This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
