No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
