So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
