Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
