the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
