I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
