It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
