dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
