You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
