the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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