i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
