I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
