Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize