just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
