just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize