did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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