worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
