Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i need some magic done to my vagina
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
