Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
