I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so let's talk penis.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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