Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were trust falling into bushes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
