'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
