C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
