she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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