Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
