shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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