if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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