I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
