She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
