Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
4 words: hood of his car
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
