Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
