i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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