I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
