I think I died a long time ago.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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