so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
