Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
